On the eve of a new year

It has been a while since I have written a blog.  Maybe because my last one caught the attention of one of my professors, and I didn't want that going into finals.  I thought that it would be appropriate to write something as this year comes to a close.   I was going to write it "tomorrow" but since I am hopped up on a triple shot cappuccino that I made on the machine that we got for Christmas (thanks Laura) I guess I'll write now, seeing as it is officially just past midnight pacific time on Monday morning.  

This year has been so awesome.  Last new year’s eve, Emily was 4 months pregnant with Brynn, who was born in May.  I was in my 8th year teaching at Portland Christian Schools, and life seemed quite grand actually.  And it was, until June, when I received the news that I would no longer have full time employment from the school, I searched my heart and prayed to know what the next move would be.  As the summer progressed, it became so clear through divine construction that I was meant to go to Multnomah Seminary, and start the M.Div Chaplaincy Program.  In the first semester, I have learned so much and have been challenged in so many ways.  I would like to credit Dr. Metzger, Dr. Robertson, Dr. Josberger, and Dr. Clemen for having such a big impact on what has been a life altering semester.  As I progress into semester #2 starting in one week, I look forward to more mind-blowing activities and challenges.  

As I think about the future, I am faced with the unknown.  While I think that I have my whole plan worked out, who knows if my plan and God's plan are going to be the same path.  I have all these grand ideas (even an aspiration to become the Chief of Chaplains for the US Navy) but I know that they do not mean a thing if they are not what God has in store for me.  I am reminded of Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane, when He prayed, "Not my will, but [the Father's] be done."

It is so hard to trust the will of God.  For us, we currently are still trying to sell our house in North Portland.  That's right.  It went on the market in September, and within 36 hours we had 3 offers on the property.  I was convinced that God was moving in that situation, but now it is December 31st, and the bank is still dragging its feet and we have not closed.  I trust that God will provide an end to this financial nightmare we are in, but it is hard to do things in His time.  

As I look into the future, I am worried for my family.  If I do become a Navy Chaplain like I feel called to be, it will mean a significant time away from my wife and girls.  If this is God's will, I know we can do it, but I know that it will be hard.  I have been able to be home a lot more ever since I lost my job at the school, and one thing I cannot bear is the idea of missing seeing my daughters grow up.  Even a six month deployment sounds like an eternity.  I am so thankful for the time that I have now, and in the next 2-3 years, to be around and be with them.  I am also so thankful that they are healthy.  In a couple of weeks, we are going in to see a specialist in the Deformational Plagiocephaly clinic at OHSU because Brynn's pediatrician things that she has a small deformity in her skull.  It sounds a lot worse than it actually is, considering that at this very moment a very dear friend of mine is sitting in the PICU at  Doernbecher Children’s Hospital with a child who has a blood clot in her brain.  My heart breaks for them and again, I have to question "How can this be a part of God's plan?"  I know that Dr. Josberger would say that is the "wrong question," but still, I have to ask it sometimes.  

Again, I would be amiss not to mention and thank my beautiful, caring, and supportive wife, Emily.  She has been my constant friend and #1 cheerleader through this whole transitional period.  I know it may sound cliche, but I honestly could not be doing this program without her.  And to our friends and family who have lifted us up in prayer and supported up, we are forever grateful.  

I hope that the New Year will be a great one.  I cannot wait to see how God will direct our paths, and if you have time, I still covet your prayers for:

• Closure on our house sale
• My studies
• Our family (Emily's Mom especially is having surgery on Jan. 21)
• God's continued financial, physical, and mental provision.  
• For my ministry at Rivercrest Community Church

Daniel

12-31-2012