Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Family and Sacrifice

So while Daniel has been diligently blogging, I have not.  I honestly don't really know what to write.  I've started several blog posts but have never posted them.  Perhaps I am most afraid of how I will appear to the ouside world?

Right now life is very complicated.  There are just so many things going on.  Daniel is perpetually busy.  If it's not class, it's reading.  If it's not reading, it's writing papers.  If it's not writing papers, it's study group.  If it's not study group, it's worship team.  If it's not worship team, it's church responsibilities.  If it's not church responsibilities, it's outside musical gigs.  It does not leave a lot of time for anything else.  Sometimes family gets left behind.  I'm trying not to complain but I'm not always successful!  I have never been a meek and quiet woman.

I'm not so much afraid of our relationship - Daniel and I will survive and come out stronger than before (a ridiculous cliche, but true nonetheless.) I'm mostly afraid that he will miss "IT."  The day to day little things: Brynn discovering her toes; Aurelia playing with magnets in the playroom; Aurelia reading to Brynn and Brynn talking back; and the major day-to-day tantrums. I really wish he could see those in all their hour long glory.  He sees some of it, but oftentimes he is distracted. 

There are times that he's alone with the girls.  I work three days a week in the evening, so Daniel is in charge of entertainment, dinner and bedtime (he has his own ritual with Aurelia, including hair brushing, monkey sounds, and Llama Llama marathons.)  I know it's stressful for him during these times.  He semi-jokes that the girls prefer me to him.  At this point in their lives, they probably do.  I'm around most of the time. 

Don't mistake this complaint for ingratitude.  Daniel is an amazing father and provider.  He works very hard and has sacrificed a lot for our family.  But we are sacrificing a lot in return.   

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