Rejection

Isaiah 53:3 - He was despised and rejected by men, a man of suffering who knew what sickness was. He was like someone people turned away from; He was despised, and we didn't value Him.

The prophet was speaking about the messiah, the one who was coming to redeem mankind unto the Father. The Word of God made manifest in human flesh, Jesus Christ would come to give his life a ransom for all. But when he came to earth, he did not do what they expected him to do, so they killed him. The rejected the very essence of Yahweh.

If lent is a time to draw nearing in our likeness of Christ, today I got the pleasure if learning a lesson. I have been waiting to hear if I am going to be the Full Time Pastor at our church after our current pastor retires in June. Another position came through my email that I was intrigued by, so I decided to submit my application. (Emily said, "Why not, if for no other reason that it will be good practice." Boy was she right, way right.)

I emailed the pastor my resume and cover letter. I have to say, I believed myself to be overqualified for this position (full time associate pastor of music at a medium sized [600 members] church), having 2 masters degrees and a bachelor of music in singing. They responded saying they were interested and asked me to fill out a 15 question survey in order to "get to know me better." I think I did a good job answering. I shared about my different experiences and how I don't believe getting rid of all traditional church music is a healthy thing. I shared about my experiences in everything from Pentecostal contemporary worship to more main line protestant, to more liturgical like Anglican and Episcopalian and Lutheran, to Roman Catholic and Greek/Russian Orthodox music. I thought being a person with many different experiences and worship resources would make me a strong candidate for the position. I guess I was wrong.

Not more than 12 hours after submitting the questionnaire, I get a response that said, "Thanks for your reply. Perusing your experience and eclectic nature we feel you would not fit well here. Thank you and may God direct your steps." What? My eclectic nature? What does that mean?

I asked myself, maybe they already found a candidate and just blew me off. That would be fine. Maybe that think I am not "contemporary worship" enough, which I assure you, I have plenty of experience doing, BUT THEY DIDN'T EVEN GIVE ME A CHANCE!! Not even a phone interview, only a "We feel you wouldn't fit in here." How would they know if they don't even bring me up to Port Orchard for a meet and greet/ audition? I have always been successful in every job I have held. I know I would have been great for that job, but they dismissed me, rejected me, like some despised suffering servant.

As I attempt to dray near to God this lent, I am thankful for this opportunity to experience the rejection, because it makes me that much more like Christ. It still hurts, but growing pains are a real thing.

The Crud

There's really nothing like being sick to make you slow down and enjoy the season. It seems like every time I get too much on my plate I end up getting sick. This weekend was supposed to be relaxing.  I actually didn't have a lot of things to do, so it was okay that I came down with congestion and coughing and a whole slew of other symptoms.

Not being on Facebook has been pretty easy so far. I haven't even really felt like I missed it. The most difficult thing to not have access to is the messenger.  I like to message friends rather than text or email and it makes me be a little bit more deliberate about my actions when I have to text someone.

I am so thankful for my wife. Emily has always taking care of me when I get sick. And since I don't get sick very often when get sick it's quite an ordeal. She is always willing to come and bring me water, make sure that I feel OK even in the midst of screaming and yelling from the children or the baby. And I do the same for her, but she just seems to have a much better attitude about it. I think that's what Lent is all about. Giving up of ourselves and doing things for others and she is such great example of that.

Lent 2016 - day 1

It is hard to believe that I haven't blogged for over a year, but for the season of Lent this year, I have decided to give up Facebook and related games in order to read scripture and reflect of it through writing on this blog.  This morning I took Aurelia with me to St. Stephen's Catholic Church to the traditional Ash Wednesday sunrise service.  I did look online for a  Protestant church that had a morning service but, while I did find more noncatholic services that were having Ash Wednesday programming, most of them are on Wednesday evening.  What is the point of that?  If your supposed to wear the ashes and be penitent, it really isn't much trouble to do it for a couple of hours before you go to bed.  I told her she didnt have to, but Aurelia wanted to take the ashes.  For a kid who is often concerned about what people will think of her, that took a lot of guts, since I am pretty sure she is the only kid in her school who will be wearing them.  The priest at St. Stephen's reminded us of three disciplines we can practice during the season.

1) Prayer
2) Fasting
3)Almsgiving

I will be trying to do all three of these to the best of my ability without being legalistic about it.  I explained what fasting is to Aurelia, and because she has issues with eating already, I told her she could give up something else if she wanted, but she didn't have to do anything.  She chose to give up Gonoodle.com an activity website she likes to do.  I was proud of her for choosing something on her own. 

Walking in the Buckman neighborhood with ashes makes me feel what muslims who wear a hijab must be feel. People look at me and then look away.  One woman even walked the other way, as if I might become unstable.  I didn't expect that.

Today I was a parent volunteer chaperone for Aurelia's class trip to the Oregon Humane Society.  When I went to check in at the school office, one of the ladies asked me about my ashes.  Her tone was one of concern as if I were some sort of religious fanatic.   When I went into Aurelia's classroom.  All the kindergarten kids (and parents for that matter) stared at my forheard.  One of the other dads introduced himself and wished me a "Happy Ash Wednesday" which was nice.  The point of Ash Wednesday is to kick off a season if piety and reflection, but the dad was trying.  

Tonight at our church someone who would have no idea tried to argue with me that ash Wednesday was the Wednesday before Easter.  I show much grace and patience explaining why I had an Ash cross on my forehead to about 20 different people.  "Isn't that a Catholic thing?" People would ask.  "No, it is practiced in many Christian denominations, Roman Catholic being one, the Episcopal, Presbyterian, Anglican, and Lutheran churches all do as well.  Seriously, even if it were a Roman Catholic thing, who cares.  I know a lot of Evangelical Christians who will be surprised that our Catholic brothers and sisters will be in heaven, and I will just chuckle and say, " I told you so."

This morning the priest said we don't wear ashes because we want to draw attention to ourselves but rather because we are identifying with one another so when you see people we're wearing ashes today you know that you are on the journey together. I went all day and didn't see anyone else wearing ashes.  Not at the school were Aurelia go not at the Oregon Humane Society not even at my own church. But I went to Fred Meyer to pick up a couple of supplies that we needed and low and behold a little family of Asians were wearing the Sign of the Cross and then I knew I was a part of something bigger. I hope you have a blessed lent.

An almost forgotten feastday!

This is a reflection on the Annunciation of Our Lord, March 25.

Growing up in the Evangelical traditions, we were not really into celebrating a majority of the church feast days.  The liturgical calendar was basically Christmas, Palm Sunday, Good Friday, and Easter, leaving every other (sun)day to do whatever the Church leadership wanted.  After spending a fair amount of time as a musician in Orthodox, Catholic, and other liturgy-centric worship services, I have gained an appreciation for the movements throughout the year.  Today is one of those days that most likely went unnoticed by a majority of those who do not know the traditions of the early Church.  The Annunciation of Our Lord celebrates the day when the Angel Gabriel visits Mary, the Theotokos, and tell her she has been chosen to bear the Son of God.  (The date comes from backdating December 25th the nine months it takes to fully gestate a human child.  I know there is some discussion whether Jesus was actually born in December or in another month, but that is not the point, it the traditional date which the Church recognizes.)

In my Patristic Theology class this fall, we spent a lot of time talking about early heresies of the Church, one being that Jesus was not fully human, but only appeared as such.  While I am not interested in hashing out all of the discussion in this post, I would like to reflect on how important it was that the Logos (the Word of God) became incarnate (Flesh - Jn 1:14).

If you grew up like me, your pastor probably preached a sermon about Gabriel and Mary on the first or second Sunday in advent.  But the fact is, it took 9 months for Jesus to grow in her womb, because while the conception of Jesus was a miracle, he was still a human child who needed to grow in the safety of his mother's womb.  The story is recorded in Luke 1:26-38

In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin's name was Mary. And he came to her and said, "Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!" But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be. And the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end." And Mary said to the angel, "How will this be, since I am a virgin?" And the angel answered her, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy--the Son of God. And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren. For nothing will be impossible with God." And Mary said, "Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word." And the angel departed from her.

If you are like me, you have heard and read this story dozens, if not hundreds of times.  Each time I think of it, I am more impressed with the courage of Mary.  Often in the Evangelical tradition we "play down" Mary in an effort to separate ourselves from those in the Roman Catholic and Orthodox traditions, but sadly, by doing that, we miss a significant part of scripture.  The ESV translation above tells us that she "found favor with God," the Greek text, however uses the word charis, which is most easily translated as grace.  She was driven by the divine grace of God.  I refuse to believe Mary was "just like any other teenage girl" in first century Palestine.  So often, she is compared to an average girl in the youth group, and we say, "It could have been you."  I do not think so.  Mary was special.  Not divine, and I would say not even sinless, but of all the women who lived from the Fall of Man until then, a period of thousands of years, she was the one who was chosen to bear the Son.  She WAS special.  Not because of anything she did, but because she was humble enough to allow God to use her to change the world.  The scripture says she was confused about how she was going to have a baby, seeing as she had never been with a man, but I wonder if she could have said NO WAY!!!  If she would have flat out refused, what would have happened?  Who would God have chosen instead?  Maybe it took thousands of years because all the "other women" (purely fictitious) Gabriel went to visit all turned him down.

For your sake, and for mine, I am glad Mary said yes.  I do not worship her, but I hold her up as one of the greatest examples in Christian history of someone who did all she could to serve the LORD.

Are you the handmaiden of the Lord?  Do you say "may it be to me according to your word" every morning?  Are you more concerned with your own interests, what people might think or say about, that you cannot serve God the way he intended?  I know I fall short almost daily living up to Mary's example.  This is why the feast of the Annunciation of Our Lord is important.  To remember God stepping out of heaven, and the amazing girl  woman who set a serious precedent for each of us to follow.

The desires of your heart - A reflection on life and Psalm 37:4

Wednesday morning was tough. I got a call from the Lead Navy recruiting chaplain for the West Coast. He just wanted to fill me in on the process of our house sale (which according to our Realtor says we are once again at the mercy of the bank, but he thinks it could be in the next 6-8 weeks!!). In the process of our conversation I learned I had been given some misinformation about the Chaplain Candidate Program Officer requirements. I was originally told I had to be commissioned before the beginning of my final year in seminary in order to be eligible to be a CCPO. In fact, I have to be commissioned one calendar year before my graduation date - meaning May 15th instead of September of this year. So basically, in order to participate in the program which will give me an advantage in becoming a full time chaplain over people who are directly commissioned, our house has to sell and I have to be commissioned in the next 8 weeks. It seems to me like God has closed the door on my being a Chaplain Candidate. I still have the option to join after I graduate with my M.Div, and that is what I intend to do, but I have felt so defeated because I really want to do the CCPO program. I know God is calling

me to ministry, and I want to serve my country as a Navy Chaplain, but why has our house been such a thorn in my flesh? As I was on the phone with Chaplain DiPinto, I felt the Holy Spirit bring to my mind Psalm 37:4 (Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.) The desire of my heart is to be a Navy Chaplain, and I really want to be a CCPO, so I have been meditating on this verse over the last couple of days. Several questions popped in to my mind. The biggest one is, if I don't get commissoned by May 15, does that mean the Bible was wrong? If the desire of my heart is not met, did God lie?

Obviousy, I do not believe God is a liar. I know He is always faithful, but I am living into the tension (as Dr. Harper would say). So, this is what I have decided so far. If I don't do the CCPO, it is not because God did not fulfill the desire of my heart, but rather because the desire of my heart was on in accordance with his will. I have changed my prayer from "God, give me what I want" to "God, make me want what you are giving me." It has been a hard change, but I know this way I can say I am a servant of God, not someone who used God to get what I want. This way, anything that happens in not my will, but His. I am still praying for a miracle with the bank and I want a commission by May, but I have realized the CCPO program was my heads desire, and my new hearts desire has become my breath pray, "Let my desire be to do your will, O God."

Tonight, I had the opportunity to join my friends Danny and Brandon leading worship for the Portland Rescue Mission's Harbor Program guys. My friend, Danny is a "Community Partnership Lead" there and is responsible for getting people together to lead worship at their various sites (along with a bunch of other stuff, to be sure). I really enjoyed it, but I got home late and I wanted to just spend some time together with Emily. When I walked in the door at 8:55, she was not downstairs. I was afraid one of the girls was still awake, because they sometimes fight sleep. I walked upstairs and tagged Emily out, and sat down on the bed with Brynn. Usually, I have better luck putting her to sleep, but tonight was not one of those times. She wiggled and squirmed, and nothing I did encouraged her to God to sleep. Then again in my mind I heard, "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." My heart really wanted Brynn to go to sleep, so I prayed, "God, help her go to sleep." For ten minutes I prayed that prayer over and over, but to no avail, Brynn was still tossing and turning and trying to play with my beard instead of sleep. I felt myself getting angry and resentful with her. I knew feeling those emotions were contrary to the fruits of the Spirit (which I have been trying to cultivate more in my life,) so I thought, "Fine, I am going to count to 100, and if she is not asleep by then, I am just going to leave the room and figure something out later."

1,2,3..."God help".....25,26,27....Still squirming......59, 60, 61 (toss and turn) 88, 89, 90....she turns over and in my mind I think, if she tosses again, I am gone. 91, 92, 93, please God, let this be it, I need to know you answer prayer, 94, 95, 96, no movement, 97, 98, 99, 100. I still holding my breath and waiting for her to move, giving me an excuse to give up on her and Him (not forever mind you, but just tonight). She was asleep. I sat for about 5 minutes praising God in my heart. It was the sign I needed, He does answer prayers. I know many people who read this will think it was just a coincidence, but I know God spoke to me tonight. He has steeled my resolve to seek His will over my own, and to continue being patient, letting Him be the one who controls my will.

I'm Back! - A Reflection on Faith

Hello Blogosphere (I hope that is the right term)

I have not written a Blog since September and a lots of things have happened in the interim (my awesome beard for starters - but I digress).

I am taking a Spiritual Disciplines and Discipleship class right now where we are supposed to practice several disciplines over the semester.  One of the options is Spiritual Journal writing.  Because I recieved a lot of constructive feedback from my past blogging ventures, and it is good to practice my writing, I decided to publish the journals which are appropriate for public consumption.  I will not be airing my dirty laundry or confessing deep sins, so you can relax.  Today I am going to do a Theological Reflection on an article I came across on Huffington post a couple days ago.  Something about it got me thinking and inspired my return to the sphere of blogging.  Please feel free to leave comments here or on my facebook page.  I appreciate the interaction.

A couple months ago, my friend Ryan (whose musings can be read at http://faithlikeaman.blogspot.com/) introduced me to Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson .  We were sitting around in need of something to watch, so he pulled up a YouTube video of two scientists having a discussion with Jim Gaffigan (whom I love!), Sarah Silverman (whom I do not care for, but I wanted to watch Jim), and Eugene Mirman (whom all I can think of when I hear him talk is his character "Gene" from Bob's Burgers).  Anyhow, if you want to check out the video, you can here => (I am not sure about the language - It is Sarah Silverman after all).

I found the science quite interesting.  I have always like science, and sci-fi, so when was running on the treadmill at the gym last week and I saw NdT (which I will refer to him from now on - not sure if that is a thing yet, but if it catches on, it started here first!!) on a sports talk show speaking about the science behind tennis, centrifugal force, and how sports and astronomy have a lot in common, you can bet that I paused the episode of Doctor Who I was watching at the time, and plugged in my headphones, so I could hear and not just read the subtitles.

On Monday of this week, I was trolling through the top stories on Huffington Post and I saw the headline "Neil DeGrasse Tyson: Media Should Stop Giving Space To Climate Change And Science Deniers."  Because of my new found interest in NdT, I clicked on it, read the article, and watched the six minute clip that accompanied the article.  The article is very short and I would just copy and paste the whole thing, but I do not want to get into copyright trouble, so go read it right now (http://goo.gl/NzSY9l), it might take you a whole two minutes, and if you have time, watch the video. What it amounts to is a promotional interview for NdT's upcoming reboot of Carl Sagan's Cosmos. (which can be seen Sundays at 9pm on Fox - http://www.cosmosontv.com/)

To sum up the sentiment of the article, NdT argues media outlets should not equal coverage to people who do not believe "Climate Change," because it is a fact.  I am not going to engage the "Climate Change" debate anymore to say I believe God created the earth and He put human in charge of its care.  If humans have done something to harm the ecosystem, then we have not been good stewards of what God gave us, and we should do what we can to correct the problem.  It was not his view of "flat earthers"(who are mostly creationist and fellow Christians) but the following statement which caused me to think the hardest.  He said,
"Science is not there for you to cherry pick. You know, I said this once and it's gotten a lot of Internet play, I said the good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it.I guess you can decide whether or not to believe in it, but that doesn't change the reality of an emergent scientific truth."

As a person of faith, I thought, "If scientific fact is true whether we believe or not, does that mean my faith - something I cannot prove or have tangible evidence for is automatically false?  Does the fact I cannot prove God created the earth mean it is not true? "  This is the question people have been debating for years, and I admit I have not done my homework in philosophy.  However, two things which stuck with me from my years of Christian High School are "All truth is God's Truth" (A quote from St. Augustine of Hippo, whom I have come to really appreciate during my time in seminary) and "Truth has nothing to fear from investigation." (Part of the Pepperdine University Server College Mission Statement)

So, I guess what I want to say is having a Christian Worldview does not automatically mean I am ignorant, and conversely Christians should not blindly believe something when there is scientific proof to the contrary (Truth - God's Truth).  Science and Faith can co-exist.  The Apostle Paul exhorted Timothy, "Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people's hearts, and they will learn the truth." (2Ti 2:25 NLT )  We would all be wise to follow this advise.

I have asked my wife Emily, a scientist by training; and my friend Ryan to write responses to this reflection.

Ryan's response is here!!
Daniel

A call to prayer!

Hello blogging world, it has been a while.


If you have been following the saga that has been the last 15 months in our families life, you know that there have been a lot of ups (moving, going to seminary, my becoming a licensed minster, doing my first baptism.) But there have been a lot of struggles through which God has proven himself to be faithful.  The biggest downer has been the epic tale of 8017 N Wabash Ave, our house.  You probably know that we had been in the process of short selling the home for 11 months and then the buyer dropped out.  (Remember that the sale of the property is the final hurdle standing between me and my commission in the Naval Chaplain Candidate Program.)  We in the 2 months since the sale has fallen apart we have an only one offer on the house (which was way too low to even consider) compared to the 3 offers in 2 days we had in September 2013.  This has been so frustrating, I had prayed that the house would burn down so the bank could collect the insurance money and we would be done with it (I know that isn't how it works, and I am not an arsonist, so don't worry.)  This morning we received an offer that is not too far off from the actual value of the home so we are going to accept it.

Here is where you come in:
We would ask that everyone would be in prayer for this transaction.  Pray for

• a speedy sale process, that God would supernaturally intervene and allow the sale to move more quickly than normal.
• That the sale would find favor with all the people who are required to approve it between now and when we sign on the dotted line.
• Bank negotiators
• FHA negotiators
• appraisers
• inspectors
• anyone else 
• That God would bless the buyer (because even without them knowing it, they are being used as an instrument of His will)
• That everything would be done so that the work of Christ's ministry can be done through my future ministry.

Thank you, I know that God will honor our prayers, and that hopefully in a few short months, this soap opera might be history that we can praise God for His mighty provision.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Daniel, with Emily, Aurelia, and Brynn